Say ‘I Love You’ With The Gift Of An Anus
Christmas shopping gets harder every year — what do you get for the love of your life that has everything? Magnus Irvin has the answer: Your anus.
Not just your anus — but a tastier and/or shinier version of it! Irvin is the man behind Edible Anus — for fifteen years, he’s been selling chocolates taken from an actual anus mold. This year, though, he’s decided to branch out: He’s not just casting chocolates anymore, but you can get anuses of all sorts!
Irvin offers a generic bronze anus for $285, or a silver one for $420. There’s also a special, limited edition glass anus for $399. “But wait!” you say. “You said I could give my lover my anus, not just some random asshole!”
And that’s right! If you want to go the personal route, for a mere $1,900, you can have a bronze anus cast from your very own asshole! Irvin says the half-hour process is “clean and painless”, and he uses alginate gel — the same stuff dentists use for mouth molds.
There’s no pricing available but Irvin’s site says that while the custom anus normally comes in bronze only, you can commission a custom casting in other metals — and you can even add jewels!
If you want to see what it’s like, here’s a video of the process, but be warned: It’s NSFW… if you couldn’t already figure out that you probably don’t want to watch someone get a mold of their anus at work.
We at Unicorn Booty hope this trend takes off, if nothing else for that it might prompt George Michael to slightly tweak the lyrics of “Last Christmas”:
Last ChristmasI gave you my buttBut the very next dayYou gave it awaySeriously, who did you give it to?WHO HAS MY ASSHOLE??
(featured image via Gunnar Marquardt)
(This article was originally published on December 15, 2015)