As men, we’re usually doing one of two things: thinking about sex or having it. As a result, it’s a great motivator. Those gym check-ins on social media? All about sex. Every sweat drop from a run or really deep squat, and every guttural groan during a bench press — they’re driven by a sincere effort to sculpt your body into what you think will get you laid. Everyone wants to look good naked, that of course meaning something different for each of us.
I truly believe the best aspect of fitness is health. But I’ll also acknowledge that men are horny as hell. So why not take exercise beyond just a headless torso pic that lures the guys over? Let’s go to the next level with moves — sex exercises, if you will — that will keep them coming back and begging for more.
These exercises — customized for guys who love the top and guys who love the bottom — can dramatically improve your sexual performance and leave you slaying in the sheets.
Oh yes, and if you’re one of those versatile guys, you might very well become a legend.
Sex Exercises for Tops
A power top is an athlete who uses all he has to deliver a powerful performance. Here’s a breakdown of your key movements and the exercises that will ignite them.
For Thrusting: Kettlebell Swings
A good top is known for his powerful thrust, an a kettlebell swing mimics just that. It’s driven almost entirely by a thrusting motion, beginning with a weighted force from behind and delivering a quick and powerful movement through the hips. The thrust and swing deliver a 1-2-3 punch over and over and over. Sound familiar?
Warning: Beginner kettlebell users should be supervised by a trainer or use a light weight to start.
1. Stand over the kettlebell with feet hip-width apart, chest up, shoulders back and down. The ‘bell should be in line with the middle of your feet.
2. Squatting down, grip the kettlebell with your palms facing you and your thumbs wrapped loosely around the handle.
3. Stand tall, still gripping the ‘bell. Keep your arms long and loose while retracting your shoulder blades and engaging your core. Soften the knees, shift your body weight into your heels and lower your rear end back and down toward the wall behind you.
4. Driving through your heel, explode through the hips to send the weight swinging upward from your quads as you squeeze your ass.
5. As the kettlebell lowers between your legs, shift your weight back into your heels while hinging at the hips and loading both the hamstrings and glutes. Now do 3 sets of 15 reps.
For Strength and Stability: The Cobra Push-Up
It may not seem like a lot, but tops have to hold their own. Meaning they often literally hold a mini-push-up for minutes on end while they do their work. Strong arms and stable shoulders help tops keep great form without straining their lower back. A Cobra Push-Up simulates that position by being face down in a push-up without the use of legs. Its “arms only” emphasis dramatically develops your upper body strength.
1. Lay face down with your hands directly next to your chest.
2. Keeping your legs and torso on the floor, rotate the elbows in, pushing the biceps out to the front as you press your arms up to full extension. Now do 3 sets of 15.
For Stamina: Mountain Climbers
Perhaps the thing a top needs most is stamina. The combination of explosive, repetitive and stabilizing movements can be exhausting! Without the proper endurance built up, the top’s heart rate may climax before he does. SO Avoid blowing a fuse by doing Mountain Climbers. This exercise is one of the best for increasing cardiovascular endurance.
1. Get into a push-up position.
2. Lift one foot off the floor and bring your knee to your chest.
3. Return to starting position and repeat with the opposite leg.
4. Rotate in a fluid, brisk and nonstop motion. Now do 3 sets of 30.
Sex Exercises for Bottoms
A valedictorian bottom is not lazy. No, far from it. He stands out by artfully mastering a few challenging movements that command an unforgettable experience. Here’s a breakdown of a bottom’s key movements and the exercises that will absolutely humble your top.
For Flexibility: Standing Leg Swings
The expert bottom is mobile, and he can be tossed around with ease and comfort. But if a top is fighting your tight hamstrings, it can kill the moment. Show him how pliable and flexible you are by doing a series of Standing Leg Swings before you get nailed. This dynamic stretch is intended to release the hamstrings without over-stretching them.
1. Stand with your legs shoulder-width apart.
2. Place one hand on a pole or another secure object, and place the other on your hip.
3. Carefully kick up one leg to hip height, letting the leg fall behind your hip and kick back up. Repeat briskly with 15 reps on each leg.
For the Squat: Pulses
A great bottom doesn’t only know how to drop it low; he knows how to move while he’s there. It’s a static position that can become demanding after a while. With Squat Pulses you’ll learn how to not only withstand but totally kill it. This small movement can not only increase the strength of your squat but help you move better while down there.
1. Start by standing with your feet hip-width apart with your arms stretched out in front.
2. Perform a squat and hold it at the bottom as you pulse a few inches up and down. Now do 15 squats, 3 pulses per squat.
For Stability: Plank to Push-Up
Often a bottom has to hold himself in a position while an opposing force has its way. If you lack core stability and upper body strength, that’s no good. Plank to Push-Ups are the perfect way to help you stabilize while using only your upper body to resist gravitational force.
1. Start in a push-up position.
2. Keeping your legs straight and your hips level, come down to your forearms.
3. Press your body up to your hands and do a push-up. Now do 2 sets of 12.
Featured image by Nikolas_jkd via iStock