I find it perplexing how accepted it is in the gay community to randomly message a guy “hey” on the gay apps. In fact, I’d go so far as saying it’s a serious epidemic in the gay community. One that demands immediate attention.
Sending a “hey” not only lacks creativity (letting the guy know you’re likely messaging anyone and everyone) but it also doesn’t open up the conversation.
A “Hey, how are you?” is already 50x better than a standalone “Hey.”
Saying “How are you,” which literally takes all of four seconds to type, shows that you’re willing to have a conversation. And even if you’re trying to get to business right away, you need a little back-and-forth before dropping your jockstrap and bending over.
Here are 5 dating app opening lines that are far better than “hey”:
1. “You have beautiful eyes.”
If he has a face pic and has gorgeous eyes, tell him! If there’s another part of his body you like, you could say that instead. Sure, you’re technically objectifying him, but it’s a lot better than “Hey.”
2. “I’m obsessed with [something from his profile] too.”
If he has a description of himself on his profile, talk about something you both like. If he likes hiking, let him know you’re a hiker, too. If he plays video games, ask him if he plays Super Smash Brothers. (Then tell him you’ll be his super smash brother … or not … OK, definitely not.) This shows that you actually spent the time to read his profile (which takes all of 10 seconds). And putting in that extra 10 seconds may be the difference between finding your next boyfriend and being ignored.
3. “I think I’m in love.”
It’s playful and shows you have a sense of humor (because obviously you’re not actually in love … I hope). Now, I wouldn’t message this to a guy whose profile pic is a blurry set of abs, but if he’s doing something cute in the photo, I think it’s one of the more fun dating app opening lines.
4. “How’s your day going?”
Sure, asking “How are ya?” or “How’s your day going?” isn’t fancy. It’s not creative, but it at least allows for more conversation. You can also gauge how interested he is by his response. If he says “fine” he’s probably not looking to chat with you. If he says “It’s been good. I did X, Y and Z. How about you?” then you know he’s definitely interested.
5. “I am so horny.”
If this is how you really feel and you’re trying to get down and dirty right away, just say it from the beginning. It leaves no ambiguity. If he’s horny and likes your photos, then maybe you two will shag. No nonsense. No small talk. No “hey” needed. Is he less likely to respond if you’re this direct? Probably. But if he does respond, you know he means business.
At the end of the day, literally anything that isn’t offensive, racist or femme-phobic is better than a “Hey.” I’d rather you say, “I dropped a penny,” and when he replies “Huh?” you say, “Now that I’ve got your attention, what are you up to later today?”
So let’s get creative, guys. Speak directly, and be more interesting. Because in a sea of faceless torsos, you’re going to have to standout if you’re trying to meet a quality man.