Oh, what a holiday Thanksgiving is. The day’s rather disheartening backstory aside (we now know relations between the Pilgrims and Native Americans weren’t exactly as pleasant as elementary school led us to believe), traditions of gathering the entire family together — in one small space, no less — and gorging on turkey and side dishes are known for their … eruptive nature. Who doesn’t have a crazy Thanksgiving story?
What could go wrong by having Uncle Joe and Aunt Becky in the same room when the conversation switches to politics, religion or — gasp! — your coming out moment? Well, as it turns out, a lot.
As the inaugural installment of our brand-new series #10WordChallenge, we approached our beloved Hornet users and asked them a very simple question: In exactly 10 words, what’s your most outrageous Thanksgiving story?
Here are 8 Hornet users’ craziest Thanksgiving story submissions:
1. Uncle wore Trump sweater that I “accidentally” spilled wine on. —Danny
2. Get a turkey I said, he did. 32 lbs worth. —Dennis
That’s a lotta leftovers.
3. Funny joke, orange soda, spit on turkey and my family! —Melinda
Does anyone have a towel?
4. Cat had a seizure, mom wound up in emergency room. —Amy
Poor kitty! (And mom, too!)
5. All the food is on the table when it collapses. —Wayne
Well, that didn’t go as planned.
6. Grandmother asked when I was coming out … at the table. —James
You’ve gotta love a grandmother with no fucks to give.
7. Cooking turkey, accidentally hit self clean button instead of timer. —Rob
Oh, damn. That’s not good. Well, at least the turkey’s clean?
8. Watching turkey run around after aunt chopped off its head. —Scott
Nope. That. Sounds. Absolutely. Horrifying.