While we’re waiting for RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4, why don’t we take a second to reflect on what hasn’t worked well in previous All Stars seasons and 10 things that could make future seasons truly spectacular.
1. A better way to pick the winner
We get that All Stars has never been about crowning the most talented queen, but none of this “a jury of her peers” crap. Ru should give the crown to the most-deserving queen — full stop.
2. Please keep bringing back queens from the earliest seasons
It was a breath of fresh air seeing Morgan McMichaels and Tatianna again, and Tati became a strong contender for the crown. Let’s give Drag Race fans a chance to see what made these earlier queens so gag-worthy.
3. Clean up the mini-challenge mess
The last season of All Stars only had two mini-challenges (out of eight episodes), and the prizes included $3,000 worth of eyeglasses and a year’s supply of free hamburgers.
We’d love to see All Stars 4 include mini-challenges on a regular basis with prizes that help queens get a leg up in the competition rather than saddling them with extra responsibilities as “team leaders.”
4. Have a proper voguing challenge
While the queens worked the runway Paris is Burning-style in the first episode of Season 10, let’s up the ante with head-to-head Vogue battles, seeing which queens can out-do the others in a choreographed throwing of shade, complete with fabulous poses, old-school style.
5. Stage a roast of former All Stars winners
Instead of having the queens roast RuPaul, let’s have them roast former winners of Drag Race All Stars. The tea would be piping hot, and the reads would be to utter filth.
6. Have Ru and former Drag Race winners serve as mentors
What makes All Stars so great is that we get to see Ru interact with seasoned performers. We’d love to see Ru and former Drag Race winners offer coaching in challenges that reflect their strengths. They could also offer pearls of wisdom for the queens to elevate their game, both in the show and the real world.
7. Ban Beyoncé from Snatch Game
Seriously. How many times do queens have to crash and burn on-screen before they get that this pop diva just isn’t funny? Mama Ru should lay down the law and ban Bey from the Snatch altogether.
8. More Pit Crew, puh-leaze!
Ain’t nothin’ wrong with throwing a little more eye-candy into All Stars for the thirsty fans.
9. Make sure the acting challenges are superbly well-written
Remember Breastworld and My Best Squirrelfriend’s Dragsmaids Wedding Trip? Yeah, neither does anyone else because the scripts were unmemorable and phoned-in. We’re glad there are fewer acting challenges these days, but let’s ensure the ones that do appear in RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 4 are super funny and actually worth re-watching, mmmkay?
10. Tweak the “Lip Sync for Your Legacy”
Instead of letting the queen with the most successful lip sync eliminate a competitor queen, give them the chance to choose a quick $10,000 instead. Some queens just want the cash. That could mean whoever gets runner-up can eliminate a queen instead. A tweak like that might’ve kept nice queens like BenDeLaCreme in the game longer.
Speaking of, is there a way to ban the possibility of self-elimination?