Need a Mask With a Touch of Scrotum? Well, Look No Further

Need a Mask With a Touch of Scrotum? Well, Look No Further

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If potentially catching a fatal disease and/or spreading it to anyone you come into contact with — including your family — is still not enough to keep you indoors, maybe the BallBag Face Mask from Billy’s Ball Bags will be. BallBag Face Mask? What’s that, you ask? Well, let me be the one to show you.


In the past, Hornet’s “You Didn’t Need to Make This” series has covered some outlandish products: this sex toy of our nightmares, this drunk-conversation-turned-startup-company, and this brand-new way to play video games. But the BallBag Face Mask maybe takes the cake.

The description of the BallBag Face Mask is as follows:

After a huge number of requests, I’m finally very happy to introduce the new Ballbag Face Mask.

Specifically designed to fit snuggly around the nose and mouth. Handmade in the UK using skin safe silicone. It’s super soft and stretchy and will fit almost any face. The BallBag Face Mask will spread happiness and joy wherever you wear it.

First of all, who is making these requests? I just want to talk.

Second of all, “the BallBag Face Mask will spread happiness and joy wherever you wear it” is a serious assumption. Like, that is one massive claim.

People hate masks. If we’ve learned anything this year, it’s that people will literally put their lives in danger before they submit to having their rights positively stripped from them by succumbing to the notion that you should care about other people. If anything, Billy’s BallBag Face Mask seems like a critical step toward poking the bear on an already very divisive issue.

But hey, it’s the end of 2020, so let’s live a little.

The more I think about Billy’s Ball Bags, the more the company kind of grows on me. They have other products, too. There’s a Hairy Testicle Keyring, for example — sure to make a great stocking stuffer for your significant other. There’s a Little Willy Fridge Magnet.

Enough of these items are sold out that I can’t help but think — Is it me? Do I just not get it? Maybe.

The BallBag Face Mask is currently sold out, with the promise that limited quantities are being updated every day. It sells for £29.99.

What do you think about Billy’s Ball Bags? Is this the perfect holiday gift?

This article was originally published on November 19, 2020. It has since been updated.

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