Your Monthly Check-In With Britney Jean Spears: The Pop Diva Seems Ready for ‘Real Housewives’
My friends, we gather yet again in front of our phones to worship at the altar of Britney. The Britney Spears Instagram account is our portal into her day-to-day (and the best way to make sure she’s safe from harm). This past weekend Britney had a particularly spectacular time getting back to her roots. Yes, that’s right, homos — Britney was dancing! Since the final performance of her Las Vegas residency on New Year’s Eve, our beloved Britney Jean is continuing to glow up!
Above we see Britney practicing her fouettés! Note that there’s no music playing, and that she likely asked beloved boyfriend Sam Asghari to quickly record her sweet moves. As we can see. her spotting is still dead on — and that’s good news!
Britney also received a spectacular Dragon Ball-Z drawing from her son Sean Preston. You’ll notice comments suggesting the drawing was traced. These people are traitors and any information on their whereabouts should be reported directly to me for safekeeping.
Britney had a great time working out this month. As you can see she’s getting ready for summer by doing some free weights training to her own music. Nothing like a you day!
Here’s a fun gram of Britney giving us her signature model poses. What’s eerie about this one is the Real Housewives-esque underscoring. A track like this usually plays when the Countess Luann can’t fit her all her shoes in a suitcase, or when Erika Jayne gets lost in a Barneys. It’s a little alarming that Britney could potentially be self-aware enough to make this quirky choice, but hey, that’s just KoOkY LiL BriT BriT being herself.
To conclude an exciting month, Britney graced us with this incredible photo of herself mid-leap in her driveway. “I posted my leap over a year ago and had to see if I could go higher… well… I did!!!” says sweet Britney. Yes you did, girlfriend, yes you did!
All in all a positive and safe few weeks here at Camp Britney Jean. Please check in with us routinely so that we may all collectively remain vigilant and responsible for the woman who basically raised us, OK? Amen, bitch.