Behold: The Greatest, Most Vicious Book Review Ever Published

As if things haven’t been bad enough lately, Jordan Peterson wrote another book. This one is called Beyond Order: 12 More Rules For Life, and seems to be a companion to his 2018 self-help mess, 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. Luckily, other people on the internet hate him just as much as we do, and we’ve found this amazing Jordan Peterson book review as a result.

If you don’t already know who Jordan Peterson is, know that a simple Google search of his name lists the likes of “Ben Shapiro” and “Candace Owens” under the “people also searched for” tab.

Peterson is a Canadian clinical psychologist and psychology professor who thinks women are evil and white privilege doesn’t exist.

He has, frighteningly, become some sort of father figure to droves of young men, including those in the “men’s rights community.” Peterson wants to go back to the 1950s — or even earlier!! — which were notably heinous times for … the rest of us.

The chaos he mentions in 12 Rules for Life? It has a gender. And, yes, it is female.

But maybe you know Peterson as that guy who’s basically the real-life version of Captain America villain Red Skull?

Anyway, Jordan Peterson is a stain upon our society and his pseudo-intellectual drivel is borderline incomprehensible.

Enter Richard Poplak’s Jordan Peterson book review in The Johannesburg Review of Books. While the entire piece is a solid 5 out of 5 stars, we’ve picked out some of our favorite and most devastating lines for your reading pleasure.

1. “What remains to be said about Jordan B Peterson?”

Not gonna lie, if someone ever said that about me I’d never show my face in society again. Done deal.

2. “Although a lack of expertise has never stopped Peterson from pronouncing on any given issue”

How do you come back from this? Do you come back from this? Is it time to burn your passport and forge a new identity?

3. “[H]e writes like a gelded Calvinist pastor from the eighteen-twenties (although he insists that it is healthful for couples to engage in sexual intimacy once a week).”

“Gelded Calvinist pastor” is officially at the top of our People To Never Ever Ever Be Compared To list.

4. “I literally didn’t know how I was going to get through it — I needed a self-help manual to wade through a self-help manual. If, like Christ, Peterson hoped that his suffering would prove enough for all of us, he should know that his readers too will suffer. His ideas are so airless, so devoid of actual historical or philosophical engagement, that they seem carved out of the cheap synthetic nothingness of a Styrofoam cup.”

This is genuinely so devastating I want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

5. “Beyond Order is the literary equivalent of colonoscopy by cake shovel.”

HELP.

There’s more. There’s so much more. This is the greatest, most vicious book review ever published … and it could not have happened to a more deserving man. Read the entire thing here.

What do you think of this Jordan Peterson book review? Don’t you think it’s time for Jordan Peterson to stop writing books?

Photo at top: Chris Williamson/Getty Images