Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who was jailed after defying a judge’s order to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, just published her memoir about “fist pumping homosexuals” entitled, Under God’s Authority: The Kim Davis Story. Hemant Mehta of Friendly Atheist read it (for some inexplicable reason) and picked out 12 of its wackiest bits. Here are five of the craziest admissions from the Kim Davis book … they are bonkers.
1. Any gay person who ever requests a marriage license from a Christian clerk has “an agenda”
To me, it was all a show. If all these two men wanted was a marriage license, they could have driven a half hour to a neighboring county and obtained one. But they had an agenda. I wasn’t just to get a marriage license. It was to make a Christian woman sign and issue it. They wanted to make me bow down — to accept and acknowledge them as a legitimate married couple. And that I wasn’t going to do.
Basically Davis thinks that same-sex couples want to get married, they should drive to a county where a Christian isn’t in charge of the clerk’s office. Otherwise they have “an agenda.”
2) God isn’t offended by her four marriages because she wasn’t a Christian back then
Mehta summarizes Davis’ three divorces and infidelity thus: “[Davis] married Husband One, had twins with Husband Three, divorced Husband One, married Husband Two, divorced Husband Two, married Husband Three, divorced husband Three, and remarried Husband Two.”
Davis says you can’t call her three divorces and infidelity a case of “religious hypocrisy” because she wasn’t a Christian until after her most recent marriage. She also calls it “divine irony” that a thrice divorced adulteress now has the so-called moral authority to deny marriage license to same-sex couples. We call it “bullshit.”
3) God talks to her and calls her Kimberly
Like Joan of Arc and Son of Sam, Davis hears voices. In the Kim Davis book, she claims that God speaks directly to her. She knows this because once when she was with a friend, she “heard someone speak my name, ‘Kimberly,’ in a deep resonant voice.”
Since her friend didn’t hear the voice and only two people ever call her Kimberly — neither of whom were anywhere near at the time — it must’ve been God (as opposed to say, an auditory hallucination or a drug flashback).
4) She thinks anyone who supports same-sex marriage isn’t a Christian
According to Mehta, “[Davis] says she can’t believe how someone ‘who claimed to be a Christian,’ could support same-sex marriage.”
Mehta comments, “I guess that means the 35% of white evangelicals who currently support marriage equality aren’t True Christians™ either.”
5) Davis can’t be a homophobe because she “has gay friends”
Try not to puke in your mouth, but Davis defends herself from accusations of homophobia by saying that she has gay friends. “I wrap my arms around my gay friends and hug them and love them as well as I do anybody else. They are precious people made in God’s image. And I love them.”
Gurl, any person who lets you wear hair and baggy clothes like that is either not gay or not your friend. Besides, lots of homophobes have these legendary “gay friends,” just like many racists supposedly have “black friends.”
She can have all the queer friends she likes. She’s still a bigot, God bless her.