These Star Wars Sex Toys Will Make You Feel the Dark Side of the Force
On Dec. 15, 2017 Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, the latest installment of the space opera franchise, will hit screens in America. And so to celebrate, Geeky Sex Toys has released a line of Star Wars sex toys so that you can experience The Force in a (w)hole new way.
The Star Toys line includes several light-up dildo lightsabers, a penetrable “Hand Solo” toy that looks like Han Solo trapped in carbonite, a “Dark Side” bondage kit, a mouth ball-gag shaped like the Death Star, several character-shaped vibrators that somehow got past copyright infringement lawyers, a “laser sword” flogger and a C-3PO buttplug. And if you’ve ever wanted to bottom for a 900-year-old Jim Henson muppet-slash-Jedi master, good news — there’s a dildo made to resemble Yoda’s dick!
Here’s a quick peek at Geeky Sex Toy’s line of Star Wars sex toys:
They also have an Orgasms of the Galaxy line based on Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy and a Dick and Horny line based on Rick and Morty, the sci-fi series that may actually feature American animation’s first-ever pansexual character.
Geeky Sex Toys was also the retailer behind the 2016 Pokémoan dildos and buttplugs — tagline: “Gotta get ’em all!” — that became popular around the release of the augmented reality smartphone game, Pokémon Go, a game which also spawned Pokémon Go dick pics.
The Game of Moans dildo as well as a whole bunch of other Game of Thrones-themed sex toys including a dildo shaped like Jon Snow’s sword, dragon egg bullet vibrators and a wolf-tail buttplug for some frisky Direwolf action.
And if you’re really geeky (in a sexy kind of way), you might enjoy learning some fun facts about orgasms, like the six parts of the brain stimulated during orgasm!