Natalie Portman hosted last night’s Saturday Night Live. She’s been getting a lot of praise for her turn as host — though our favorite was the Stranger Things SNL sketch in which Portman, as Eleven, discovers more kids like her.
The sketch opens with Eleven and Mike (played by a constantly-aroused Mikey Day), arriving at a creepy hovel. Riffing on last season’s episode, “Chapter Seven: The Lost Sister,” Eleven meets a number of children with special powers — even though it’s increasingly clear that she got the best of the bunch.
First Eleven meets Fourteen, played by Beck Bennett. She explains that she’s got telekinesis, though she gets a small nosebleed when she uses it. Fourteen, on the other hand, can start fires, but it makes him throw up in his mouth a little bit when he does so. (We can see why Stephen King cut that last element from his novel Firestarter.)
Next, we meet Nine, played by Cecily Strong, who can read minds, but farts after doing so. Five (a/k/a Pete Davidson) can run really fast — like The Flash! — though doing so gives him an erection… meaning he has to run really fast to hide said erection.
Unfortunately for Eleven’s “family,” that’s about it for the useful powers. Next we meet an unnamed (unnumbered?) kid played by Luke Null who can make amazing chili, though his brain bleeds — illustrated by blood gushing from his hairline — when he does so. Next is Eighteen (Aidy Bryant), who can do a Borat impression that puts her into a two day coma. (What’s worse: It’s not even a particularly good Borat.)
After that, we meet Fifty (Leslie Jones), whose power is that… she’s 50 years old. There’s no downside, unlike the others, and she even takes the chili. At this point, we meet Three (Kenan Thompson). And if you’re thinking this sketch has gone on a little too long, don’t worry: Three’s special power is that he can end sketches. (However, the sketch ends before we get to find out his downside.)
And now it can be told: This author is better known as Forty-Two, and has the power of ending articles about SNL sketches with a lame joke and a video link.