The Craziest Story to Emerge From the Fyre Festival Documentaries Involves This Gay Man
If you’re like many people, this past weekend you sat down to watch one or both recent documentaries about the failed 2017 Fyre Festival, which saw thousands of music-lovers stranded on a Bahamian island without food, water or a place to sleep. It was truly a nightmare of an event, the conception, creation and utter demise of which is captured in dueling documentaries: FYRE: The Greatest Party That Never Happened, available on Netflix, and Fyre Fraud, available on Hulu.
The two Fyre Festival documentaries are different in tone, and while the Hulu doc features a sit-down interview with festival founder (and current felon) Billy McFarland, the Netflix doc is a more straight-laced look at how the Fyre Festival went from the most anticipated musical event of the year to a laughably meme-worthy dumpster fire that simply must be seen to be believed. Both documentaries are well-done, and both are worth a watch.
But only one of them, the Netflix offering, includes the crazy story of a $175,000 blowjob.
“This won’t go that far, I’m sure,” says Andy King — an event producer who worked behind the scenes of the Fyre Festival — before sharing what he considers to be the most embarrassing story of his career. Clearly he’s unaware of the sheer size of Netflix’s subscription base?
Of course this story is going to go far.
According to Andy King, who had already been close friends with festival founder McFarland, he was at one point asked to perform oral sex on a Bahamian customs official so the Fyre Festival could have water for its attendees.
Days before the Fyre Festival was supposed to take place on the island of Great Exuma, a problem arose when four 18-wheeler trucks filled with Evian — intended to be festival attendees’ drinking water — couldn’t make its way to the festival site without first paying $175,000 to customs. The festival producers simply didn’t have the money.
Here’s how Andy King tells the story of the $175,000 Fyre Festival blowjob:
Billy called and said, “Andy, we need you to take one big thing for the team.” And I said, “Oh my gosh, I’ve been taking something for the team every day.” And he said, “Well, you’re our wonderful gay leader and we need you to go down — will you suck dick to fix this water problem?”
And I said, “Billy, what?” He said, “Andy if you will go down and suck Cunningham’s dick, who’s the head of customs, and get him to clear all of the containers with water, you will save this festival.”
[Editor’s Note: Now, at this point I personally expected Andy King to replay with something along the lines of “Are you fucking kidding me?!” Instead, King was fully prepared to ‘save the festival’ by blowing this customs official!]
I literally drove home, took a shower, I drank some mouthwash and I got into my car to drive across the island to take one for the team. And I got to his office fully prepared to suck his dick.
According to King, the blowjob to save Fyre Festival officially never took place.
“He couldn’t have been nicer,” King says of the customs official, who agreed to release the water for the festival as long as he was one of the first in line to get paid when the money came into existence.
Don’t believe me? Watch this clip:
Since the Fyre Festival obviously went belly-up, and currently owes thousands of people money, it’s doubtful this customs official ever got that $175,000 in import taxes.
I can’t help but wonder whether maybe he wishes he’d opted for the blowjob after all.
As for Billy McFarland, who put in the ask for the ‘blowjob to save Fyre Festival,’ he’s currently serving a six-year prison term for defrauding Fyre Festival investors and attendees, in addition to unrelated charges of him selling $100,000 worth of fake concert and event tickets to people.
