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4 Questions to Ask Yourself If Guys Aren’t Replying to You on Gay Apps Culture

4 Questions to Ask Yourself If Guys Aren’t Replying to You on Gay Apps

Written by Zachary Zane on July 17, 2019
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Having some trouble getting responses from guys on gay apps? Are all of your “heys” unreciprocated, or even worse, are you finding yourself blocked on more than the rare occasion? Well, if you’re noticing a pattern, you might actually be doing something wrong. There’s something either off-putting in your profile or whatever you’re messaging guys with is falling flat, causing a lack of gay app replies.

So let’s go ahead and tackle some issues that may be contributing to you not getting the gay app replies you want. Here are four questions to ask yourself.

1. Do you not have a clear picture on your profile?

Whenever I see a blurry profile pic, or a picture where the guy’s face is obscured, I expect to receive a clear face pic immediately. If you have no pic in your profile, a clear face and body pic should be the first thing that you send the guy you’re messaging. Let’s face it: gay and bi men are very visual people, and the gay app is a visual medium.

You can call it shallow, or you can call it natural. Whatever you call it won’t change the fact that guys respond well to pics. (Need some extra advice on exactly what type of photo to choose for your profile pic? We’ve got you covered here.)

2. Are you coming off too strong?

Unsolicited dick pics and snapshots of your hole are aggressive. The irony is that while most guys want to see your privates, many don’t want that to be the first thing they see. Many want to have to ask to seem them, making sure you’re a normal person who can hold a three-minute, 100 word convo before seeing you butt-ass naked and letting you, a stranger, into the apartment.

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3. Is there something repellent in your “about me” section?

Whenever I see someone write, “NO FLAKES. DON’T WASTE MY TIME” or “I don’t even know why I’m here. Whatever,” I get turned off. No one wants flakes or their time wasted, so relax. Also, breathe. It should be fun and exciting to meet and talk to people. Before you’ve even messaged me, I feel like you’ve yelled at me or you’re already over me. Not cool. 

4. Are you just writing “hey”?

Just writing “hey” isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I know plenty of guys who start conversations with “hey” and have no problem meeting people on apps … but that’s likely because they’re freaking gorgeous, and their pics do the talking for them. Us mere mortals have to be more creative than starting a conversation with “hey.” (And if you need some help coming up with other openers, look no further.)

So there you have it.

Albert Einstein is broadly credited with saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.” So let’s not be insane, boys. Let’s change up our profiles and attitudes and watch those gay app replies start flowing in.

What’s your experience with gay app replies?

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