Our decision to spend hours crafting — and then taking the time to rank — a list of the sexiest men on our favorite cable series, HBO’s Game of Thrones, is two-fold: First, it’s our own little way of coping with the fact that the final episode of Season 7, which aired Aug. 27, means our Sunday nights are devoid of new Thrones action until early 2019. (And writing up this lengthy feature is cheaper than therapy.)
The second reason is that we’re horny buggers. Being an HBO series, it offers up a plethora of sexy man meat to viewers (maybe not as much as Insecure, but a close second). Now if only we could get the show to offer a spotlight to more men of color ….
Editor’s note: The below list does contain a few Game of Thrones spoilers for those not fully caught up!
Without further ado, here are the 25 sexiest men of Game of Thrones, ranked:
1. Kristofer Hivju (Tormund Giantsbane)
We thought long and hard about who gets us long and hard we consider to be the sexiest guy on Game of Thrones, and it’s most definitely Hivju. He’s the scruffy, grizzled ginger who acts as a leader of sorts to the Wildings and is obsessed with boning Brienne of Tarth. “Imagine the babies,” indeed. For those interested in knowing a bit more about him: He’s a Norwegian actor, producer and writer; he apparently had a bit part in Fate of the Furious earlier this year (we didn’t see it); and his Instagram offers up a ginger-ness overload. Now BRB, we’re heading to Oslo.
2. Kit Harington (Jon Snow)
HBO knew what it was doing when it cast Harington on Game of Thrones. He might not have been the show’s focus at the onset, but by Season 8 he’s basically become the sole hope of Westeros in defeating the White Walkers. The fact that Harington portrays the “purest” character on the series — seriously, who isn’t rooting for Jon Snow? — only makes us crush on Harington more. And did you see those #snowglobes in the Season 7 finale? Swoon. Is it gross we don’t even care that he’s now boning his aunt, Daenerys? It is? OK, nevermind.
3. Jacob Anderson (Grey Worm)
The leader of the unsullied may have been castrated as a child and forced to witness and do unspeakable things in order to become a warrior, but hey, there’s still so much we could do under the pelt, ya know? If you’re looking for more of this 28-year-old British actor’s work — who is also a singer and rapper under the name Raleigh Ritchie (!) — check out the first seasons of the UK series Episodes and Broadchurch.
4. Jason Momoa (Khal Drogo)
No one floods our basement quite like Momoa. While we’re sure the upcoming Justice League movie will sate our need for more Momoa in our life (he plays Aquaman, natch), frankly we feel robbed that his role on Game of Thrones was cut so short. (Here’s hoping Season 8 offers some semblance of a flashback. We’d be so down with that!) Also: Did you know that Momoa played Ronon Dex on five seasons of the series Stargate Atlantis? That almost makes us want to watch it. Almost.
5. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime Lannister)
In true Game of Thrones fashion, since Season 1 we’ve gone from despising Jaime “The Kingslayer” Lannister to loving him, then back to despising him again (though we think we love him again, not sure). To be sure, though, Coster-Waldau is more than a pretty face. He can act the sh*t out of a one-handed King’s Guardman. Speaking of, which gay sex shop do you think the show’s propmaster scored that golden fisting dildo from?
6. Iwan Rheon (Ramsay Bolton)
Let’s make one thing clear: Ramsay Bolton the character is one horrrrrrible bastard (literally). That’s undisputed. But Iwan Rheon is one sexy dude. (We’re assuming he doesn’t hunt humans and feed them to those gnarly dogs, of course.) Isn’t it always the case that you’re at least mildly attracted to the bad guy? Especially when they’re Welsh. If you need more Rheon in your life, check out the U.K. series Misfits. In the future, you can also find him in the upcoming Marvel TV series Inhumans, though from what we’ve heard, that series won’t be around for long.
7. Pedro Pascal (Oberyn Martell)
Not only is Pascal sexy in his own right, but our wet dreams for this Chilean-American actor are reinforced by the fact that Oberyn Martell — a literal swashbuckler, you guys — is one of the series’ only openly queer characters. More than once we saw the bisexual Oberyn get down with another guy (usually in the brothel of Petyr Baelish), and we weren’t complaining. As one of the few actors of color on the series, Pascal says he’s become “a beloved character of Latin America.” Now if only we could get the image of him having his eyeballs squished out of his head out of our heads!
8. Richard Madden (Robb Stark)
Robb Stark, we feel like we barely knew thee. He was on Game of Thrones until he was unceremoniously (and shockingly) killed off during the Season 3 “Red Wedding,” but we would have been down with many more seasons of this dreamboat. Madden is a Scottish actor who in 2009 was awarded “Most Stylish Male” at the Scottish Style Awards. And yeah, great style definitely adds to a guy’s sexiness, don’t you agree?
9.-10. Michiel Huisman, Ed Skrein (Daario Naharis)
So, yeah, there were actually two actors who portrayed Daenerys’s trusted right-hand man, Daario, and both Huisman (left) and Skrein (right, who was also the ‘big bad’ in Deadpool) are sexy AF. So much so that we couldn’t decide between the two of them, which is why they share these two spots.
11. Finn Jones (Loras Tyrell)
Before he took on the role of Iron Fist on Netflix, Finn was Loras Tyrell, another of the series’ queer characters. The gay male heir of the Tyrell family — also known as The Knight of Flowers (because how gay is that?!) — he was boning Renly Baratheon before the would-be king’s death at the hand of a demon shadow baby. (You gotta love this show.) Jones is a total sexpot, and for those super thirsty for more Finn in your life, head straight to his Insta.
12. Joe Dempsie (Gendry)
On the show he’s the guy with the most valid claim to the throne, being that he’s actually the son of Robert Baratheon, and that’s pretty sexy. But Dempsie is damn fine as well. Particularly endearing was a story he told The New York Times, in which ahead of his return to Season 7, he hit the gym hard after being told he “might have a shirtless scene.” (And, on this show, what pressure!) Well, after getting ripped for the latest season, it turned out he had no shirtless scenes. Unfair — for him as well as us.
13. Aidan Gillen (Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish)
Much like Ramsay Bolton, but maybe not quite as bad, Baelish is one evil sonofabitch, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that Gillen is super sexy. He could lie to us all day — even plot our murder behind our back — if it meant we got to slide into the sheets with this scheming scalawag.
14. Peter Dinklage (Tyrion Lannister)
We love The Dinklage, and we’ll shout it from the rooftop. On the show, Tyrion is a little bit of a drunkard for our taste, but as an actor, Dinklage is of the finest pedigree.
15. Tom Wlaschiha (Jaqen H’ghar)
We’re pretty sure we’ve dated a few “men of many faces” in the past, and that didn’t work out so well. But we’d give it another go for Wlaschiha, who seems to just ooze sex when the camera turns to him. His character was such a great teacher with Arya, after all, and we’re sure this handsome German could teach us a few things, too.
16. Iain Glen (Jorah Mormont)
This scruffy fighter won our hearts along with the heart of Daenerys, and Glen is a handsome fellow to boot. And now that Jorah has that whole “stone man” thing cleared up, we’re good to go. We can’t help but think, though — does that “condition” make you hard as a rock everywhere?
17. Kristian Nairn (Hodor)
Hold the damn door! We love us some Kristian Nairn, who happens to be gay in real life. (And a DJ!) And even though that infamous Hodor cock shot from the show — you know, this one (link NSFW) — reportedly used a fake dong, we can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to hop under the covers with this 7′ giant.
18. Alfie Allen (Theon Greyjoy)
Before he betrayed the Starks and then had his wang chopped off by Ramsay Bolton, Theon seemed like a pretty decent guy. He was a bit of a womanizer, sure, but that’s what led to us seeing every inch of Alfie Allen (brother of Lily) during a particularly fun sex scene with the hooker with a heart of gold (and a large busom), Ros. We find Allen to be rather dreamy in that ‘British bloke’ kinda way.
19. Sean Bean (Eddard Stark)
We still don’t understand why a guy named Eddard would be called “Ned” by everyone who knows him (seriously, it keeps us up at night), but we have mad love for Sean Bean, who’s a great actor. We thought he was smokin’ hot in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, too. We can’t help but ask, though, “Hey Sean, how’s your head?”
20. Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane)
This beast of a man shouldn’t exist — he basically defies the laws of physics or something — but he does, and we’re all about that. Sure, on the show The Mountain is green-faced, dead and basically an evil henchman, but Björnsson — a professional strongman in his home of Iceland — is a 6’9″ dream come true for those who like their guys big and burly.
21. John Bradley (Samwell Tarly)
Yeah, he’s not buff. Or conventionally handsome. And wanting to go off and become a maester doesn’t exactly scream “Have sex with me!” But the dude killed a White Walker with a small piece of glass, so yeah, we love us some Samwell Tarly. And this Brit is a damn fine actor.
22. Jack Gleeson (Joffrey Baratheon)
We know, we know — with some actors, especially on Game of Thrones, it can be hard to look past how icky the actor’s character is. But if you’re able, you’ll realize that Gleeson is pretty handsome. I mean, more so when he’s not turning purple with blood leaking out of his eyeballs, but yeah.
23. Stephen Dillane (Stannis Baratheon)
Probably not the most exciting character in the series, but Dillane is another handsome Brit.
24. Jerome Flynn (Bronn)
First he was Tyrion’s best friend and confidant, then he became the same for Jaime, having saved the latter’s life multiple times in the last few seasons. Bronn — and his actor, Flynn — is proof that a sense of humor is sexy. Gets us every time.
25. Vladimír Furdík (Night King)
Yeah, we included the show’s big bad, mostly because he’s the ultimate villain on Game of Thrones, and his icy demeanor (and spear-throwing skills) get us hot and bothered. And that bone structure! Furdík actually isn’t the first actor to portray the Night King, but he is the actor we saw shirtless and tied to a tree when the Children of the Forest created the White Walkers. Furdík is a Slovak actor and stuntman.
Disagree with our list of the hottest Game of Thrones men? Sound off in the comments!
All images courtesy of HBO
Game of Thrones HBO