He’s been a TV hunk for decades, dating all the way back to Full House‘s first season in 1987, but surely John Stamos wasn’t always a smoking hot actor with game, right? What’s his secret? Is it something in the way he talks? Or the way he walks? Nah, it’s his trademark cuddle tips, which he was happy to share in a hilarious video for CollegeHumor.
“Hi, I’m John Stamos, one of the most handsome men you could think of off the top of your head,” starts the John Stamos cuddle tips video. “Being a notable lothario, people often ask me for sex advice.” But as he says, “The real key is the cuddle.”
With his Full House and Fuller House co-star Bob Saget playing the role of cuddle buddy, Stamos shares some of his signature cuddle tips with us. These include the “Stamos Soother,” the “Stamos Scalper,” the “Stamos Spoonful” and the “Stamos Swaddler.” (Be careful, though, as that last one is intended for advanced cuddlers only.) Oh, and the “Stamos Shark Sleep,” where you sleep with your eyes open, which isn’t creepy at all when it’s John Stamos doing it.
We’ve never seen Stamos and Saget closer and more connected than in this cuddle tips video, where you’ll get to watch them snuggle up close, exchange soft kisses and gentle caresses and even — hells yeah! — a playful thrust or two.
“Just be careful not to let your arms get trapped beneath your special gal,” Stamos says (though we prefer to try out these cuddle tips on a special dude). “This is worth than death.”
We most recently thought of John Stamos naked when we reported on his appearance on new late-night show Busy Tonight, where he was happy to share a story about producing a sperm sample at a fertility clinic.