The Web Is Freaking Out: This Gain Commercial Is Training Kids to Be Jock-Sniffing Sex Pigs
The laundry detergent Gain recently released an ad that has the web buzzing for its homoerotic undertones. In the new Gain jockstrap commercial, two young boys try to play a trick on their dad by dropping a jockstrap on his face while he naps. To their surprise, the jockstrap’s scent makes him smile — because it’s been washed in Gain laundry detergent, of course, not because Dad is secretly a jock-sniffing sex pig (like us).
Naturally, the new Gain commercial has some prudish Twitter users clutching their pearls and talking about how “inappropriate” and “dirty” it is. But anyone who has ever been a boy knows that kids (like the ones in the commercial) regularly make butt, poop and fart jokes. So they’re not angels; they’re basically pre-pubescent frat boys.
And look who their role model is: A hunky DILF who leaves his budgie-smugglers idly laying in plain sight like some sort of masculine lingerie. Any man who leaves his jockstraps right in his children’s view is basically flaunting his musky genitals and delectable buttcheeks around the house anyway. Is it any wonder his kids literally wanted to throw some of dad’s own man-stink back in his face? The poor boys have probably been dealing with dad’s post-game scents and dirty jocks for god knows how long.
When the boys lower dad’s stanky mankies into his sleeping face, the joke’s on them — dad likes the smell of his own junk … and he’s probably not the only one. We noticed Mom’s not around. Maybe there is no Mom — see what I’m getting at, boys?
It’s not the detergent he’s smelling, kids. Oh sure, Gain is a fine product, but it takes more than the smell of Oxi Boost or Febreeze to get him smiling in his dreams. In fact, dad doesn’t just smile, he spoons with the jockstrap and curls his athletic fingers around that man-sling like a huffing junkie grasping a paint rag. Dad is addicted to jockstrap smells, okay?
And it looks like Dad’s influence is rubbing off on his impressionable young sons as his eldest boy curiously rips the jockstrap away from Dad’s horny-yet-drowsy clutches to get a big whiff of Dad’s jock too. We imagine the younger brother will secretly take a sniff after dinner, wondering all the while if this is why the other kids in Little League all make fun of him.
Basically, the Gain jockstrap ad is going to turn everyone gay. And if you watched it, you’re already gay. Now go buy a jockstrap, you gay, jockstrap-sniffing sex pig, you.
Watch the Gain jockstrap commercial below:
— Roland Scahill (@rolandscahill) July 6, 2018