Today, Nintendo released the latest installment in the Super Mario Brothers video game franchise entitled Super Mario Odyssey. In the lead up to its release, fans went wild after seeing game stills of Mario the plumber running around shirtless in a bathing suit revealing that (gasp!) he has nipples. So imagine their reaction when they see his uncircumcised Super Mario penis from a Nintendo-licensed manga comic book released in Japan during the late 1980s.
A freelance developer named Aubrey Cottle discovered what he called “officially licensed Mario dong” while flipping through an old Super Mario Brothers manga. He posted the shots on Twitter.
A quick recap for the non-Mario Brothers fans: In 1985, the Japanese video game company Nintendo released Super Mario Brothers as a sequel to its 1983 game Mario Brothers, a game in which two plumbers from New York City got rid of turtles and crabs infesting the sewers. Super Mario Brothers proved a smash hit and pretty much every installment involved Mario and his brother Luigi stomping turtles in the Mushroom Kingdom to save Princess Toadstool from the evil King Koopa and his myriad underlings.
In the late ’80s comic book, Mario gets bitten right on the crotch by a skeletal fish (referred to later in the video game series as “Fish Bones”). The bite pains Mario so much, that he stomps on the fish, crushing it, and removes his denim overalls revealing his penis to his robot pal (who appears to be a nervous Princess Toadstool in disguise).
Here’s the manga showing the official Super Mario penis:
This nudity reveals several important things about Mario: 1) He wears no underwear — apparently he likes to go commando. 2) He has no pubic hair. He is as smooth as a Smurf. 3) He is uncircumcised, just like most of Japan.
come one come all, gather around boys and girls for the mythical mario penis pic.twitter.com/YlvmZr60kM
— Aubrey Cottle (@Kirtaner) October 25, 2017
Some folks might think that it’s puerile or gross to be fascinated by the genitals of a children’s video game character, but shut up. The truth is that adults have long enjoyed the game as well and the comic was published with Nintendo’s blessing. That means that they saw the Super Mario penis, approved of it and then sent it to be published for the eyes of children and adults everywhere.
Naturally, there’s lots of erotic drawings and fan-fiction of Mario actually using his (ahem) “mushroom” (and speculation that King Bowser is actually a strong lesbian woman) but we prefer these tastefully sexy pics of quasi-gay-incestual Super Mario cosplay — it’s all of the fun without any of the questionable male frontal nudity.